All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times

Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times

False happiness is like false money; it passes for a long time as well as...

False happiness is like false money; it passes for a long time as well as...

Starting out to make money is the greatest mistake in life. Do what you feel...

Starting out to make money is the greatest mistake in life. Do what you feel...