I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Age Quotes, Funny Quotes

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and...

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.