Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...