I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Sarcastic Life Quotes

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

Playing poker in their Quonset hut on Tinian, killing the last hours of the preatomic...

Playing poker in their Quonset hut on Tinian, killing the last hours of the preatomic...

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids...

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids...

I've loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at...

I've loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at...