Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Intelligence Quotes, Military Quotes

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

Blood's not thicker than money.

Blood's not thicker than money.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...