Quotes by Steven Wright

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

#Steven Wright

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...

#Steven Wright

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

#Steven Wright

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

#Steven Wright

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

#Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

#Steven Wright

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.

#Steven Wright

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

#Steven Wright

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

#Steven Wright

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

#Steven Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

#Steven Wright

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

#Steven Wright