If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...
I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...
Hermits have no peer pressure.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...