If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do...

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting...