I am two with nature.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

They used to shoot her through gauze. You should shoot me through linoleum.

They used to shoot her through gauze. You should shoot me through linoleum.

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.