If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Quote by Woody Allen
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...
Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
80% of success is showing up.
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
Conversation like television set on honeymoon...unnecessary.
So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored...
Suffering the hot side of the pillow while the cold side charges, the worst.