This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
Take my wife... Please!
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.