Quotes about Henny Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

#Henny Youngman

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...

#Henny Youngman

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

#Henny Youngman

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

#Henny Youngman

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

#Henny Youngman

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

#Henny Youngman

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

#Henny Youngman

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

#Henny Youngman

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

#Henny Youngman

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

#Henny Youngman

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

#Henny Youngman

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

#Henny Youngman