She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...