She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.