Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.