A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Women Quotes

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.