Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Gold Digger Quotes
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing they marry...
Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the...
A bachelor's life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner.