My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks...
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
She has a wash and wear bridal gown.
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...