My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Quote by Henny Youngman

Topics: Henny Youngman Quotes

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let...

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!