Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but...
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first...
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His...
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Take my wife... Please!
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to...
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.