You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does...
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
Take my wife... Please!
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup...
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.