You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Quote by Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman Quotes
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends...
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Take my wife... Please!
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put...
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out...
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one...
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the...
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the...
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill,...
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago...
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.