Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Quote by Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...
80% of success is showing up.
I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.