Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Time Quotes

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer

Tradition is a guide and not a jailer

The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But...

The human race has had long experience and a fine tradition in surviving adversity. But...