Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

I am of course confident that I will fulfill my tasks as a writer in...

I am of course confident that I will fulfill my tasks as a writer in...

Life is strewn with so many dangers, and can be the source of so many...

Life is strewn with so many dangers, and can be the source of so many...

Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To bring him news of his beloved son's death would...

Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To bring him news of his beloved son's death would...