Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...
Marriage is the death of hope.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
80% of success is showing up.
It is only when we become aware or are reminded that our time is limited...
There are no ordinary moments. There is always something going on.
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.