Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'd hope to, one day, be MultiOrgasmic.

If ignorance is bliss, then I'd hope to, one day, be MultiOrgasmic.

All violence consists in some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to...

All violence consists in some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to...

The sumptuous age of stars and images is reduced to a few artificial tornado effects,...

The sumptuous age of stars and images is reduced to a few artificial tornado effects,...