Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Time Quotes

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

The best advice we can give ourselves is the loving advice we'd give somebody else....

The best advice we can give ourselves is the loving advice we'd give somebody else....

My advice to any diplomat who wants to have a good press is to have...

My advice to any diplomat who wants to have a good press is to have...