As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: God Quotes

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

The most common cause of fear of old age is associated with the possibility of...

The most common cause of fear of old age is associated with the possibility of...

The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they...

The more is given the less people will work for themselves, and the less they...

I have nothing to ask but that you would remove to the other side, that...

I have nothing to ask but that you would remove to the other side, that...