The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

What is in question is a kind of book reviewing which seems to be more...

What is in question is a kind of book reviewing which seems to be more...

Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd...

Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd...