The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Having a thirteen-year-old in the family is like having a general-admission ticket to the movies,...

Having a thirteen-year-old in the family is like having a general-admission ticket to the movies,...

At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the...

At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the...

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

It is illegal in England to state in print that a wife can and should...

It is illegal in England to state in print that a wife can and should...