The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

When you get married you forget about kissing other women.

When you get married you forget about kissing other women.

For what is done or learned by one class of women becomes, by virtue of...

For what is done or learned by one class of women becomes, by virtue of...