The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too...

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too...

Space is to place as eternity is to time.

Space is to place as eternity is to time.