The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sleep Quotes

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Be the kind of person you would like to be with. Some people come into...

Be the kind of person you would like to be with. Some people come into...

The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between...

The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between...