In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.