Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.

The main thing is keeping the main thing the main thing.

Some people have the time but they don't have time while others have time but...

Some people have the time but they don't have time while others have time but...

We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is...

We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is...