Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Success Quotes

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...

Sex is a two way treat and is only dirty when it's done right.

Sex is a two way treat and is only dirty when it's done right.

Middle age is when youre faced with two temptations and you choose the one that...

Middle age is when youre faced with two temptations and you choose the one that...

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come...

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come...

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite,...

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite,...