I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Being Thankful Quotes, Laughter Quotes

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age.

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age.