Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Quote by Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...
If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...