I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Government Quotes

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top.

When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top.

In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the...

In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the...

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.