The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Sex Quotes

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my...

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my...