If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...