If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Baseball Quotes

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...