Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Quote by Phyllis Diller
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...