The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing they marry...

Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing they marry...

Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the...

Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the...

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I...

I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I...