Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...