We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Children Quotes, Teachers And Teaching Quotes

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

In this, our age of infamy Man's choice is but to be A tyrant, traitor,...

In this, our age of infamy Man's choice is but to be A tyrant, traitor,...

I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a...

I'm back... and you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a...

Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature...

Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature...

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.