We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Children Quotes, Teachers And Teaching Quotes

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

I've found a formula for avoiding these exaggerated fears of age; you take care of...

I've found a formula for avoiding these exaggerated fears of age; you take care of...

When old age shall this generation waste, Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe...

When old age shall this generation waste, Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe...

We hear the haunting presentiment of a dutiful middle age in the current reluctance of...

We hear the haunting presentiment of a dutiful middle age in the current reluctance of...

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but...

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but...