We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Children Quotes, Teachers And Teaching Quotes

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of yours.

If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of yours.

A smile appeared upon her face as if she'd taken it directly from her handbag...

A smile appeared upon her face as if she'd taken it directly from her handbag...

Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears.

Nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through tears.