We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Quote by Phyllis Diller
Teachers And Teaching Quotes
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
I've found a formula for avoiding these exaggerated fears of age; you take care of...
When old age shall this generation waste, Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe...
We hear the haunting presentiment of a dutiful middle age in the current reluctance of...
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but...