A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Phyllis Diller Quotes

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades,...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of...

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of...

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Men are rewarded or punished not for what they do but for how their acts...

Men are rewarded or punished not for what they do but for how their acts...

The most cowardly thing in the world is blaming mistakes upon the umpires. Too many...

The most cowardly thing in the world is blaming mistakes upon the umpires. Too many...