There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Ghetto Quotes, Money Quotes

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.

I speak of peace, while covert enmity under the smile of safety wounds the world.

I speak of peace, while covert enmity under the smile of safety wounds the world.

Insecurities have the ability to shape and mold our minds to live with everything thats...

Insecurities have the ability to shape and mold our minds to live with everything thats...