There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Ghetto Quotes, Money Quotes

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.