Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

Quote by Phyllis Diller

Topics: Negative Friendship Quotes

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes,...

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and...

When television producers say it is the parents' obligation to keep children away from the...

When television producers say it is the parents' obligation to keep children away from the...

Perhaps we have been misguided into taking too much responsibility from our children, leaving them...

Perhaps we have been misguided into taking too much responsibility from our children, leaving them...

The counsels of old age give light without heat, like the sun in winter.

The counsels of old age give light without heat, like the sun in winter.