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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.