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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want...

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about...

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing...

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick...

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...