Quotes about Phyllis Diller

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has...

#Phyllis Diller

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your...

#Phyllis Diller

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from...

#Phyllis Diller

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions...

#Phyllis Diller

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the...

#Phyllis Diller

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't...

#Phyllis Diller

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you...

#Phyllis Diller

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

#Phyllis Diller