No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Best Friend Quotes

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Mediocrity in politics is not to be despised. Greatness is not needed.

Mediocrity in politics is not to be despised. Greatness is not needed.

Politics is the process of getting along with the querulous, the garrulous and the congenitally...

Politics is the process of getting along with the querulous, the garrulous and the congenitally...