When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them...
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad...
Always do whatever's next.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...
I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...