What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your whole life...? Take a freakin' chance!

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Life Quotes

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter...

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter...

I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay...

I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay...

I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every...

I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every...