What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your whole life...? Take a freakin' chance!

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Life Quotes

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...

Religion is just mind control

Religion is just mind control

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You...

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.

One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything, except a good reputation.

The stroke of death is as a lover's pinch, Which hurts and is desired.

The stroke of death is as a lover's pinch, Which hurts and is desired.