Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Death Quotes

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof...

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Think off-center.

Think off-center.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Religion is just mind control.

Religion is just mind control.

The status quo sucks.

The status quo sucks.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

Academics tend to have wonderfully infantile senses of humor.

Academics tend to have wonderfully infantile senses of humor.

Holland is a country, where the earth is better than the air, and profit more...

Holland is a country, where the earth is better than the air, and profit more...

If it can be verified, we don't need faith... Faith is for that which lies...

If it can be verified, we don't need faith... Faith is for that which lies...