Quotes by George Carlin

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

#Controversy, #Drugs, #Funny

Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them...

#Humanity

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider...

#Humanity

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

#Church, #Nations, #Separation

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....

#George Carlin

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that...

#George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

#George Carlin

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

#George Carlin

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

#George Carlin

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

#George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

#George Carlin

Always do whatever's next.

#George Carlin