Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone...

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to...

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug...

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug...

Beauty is as relative as light and dark. Thus, there exists no beautiful woman, none...

Beauty is as relative as light and dark. Thus, there exists no beautiful woman, none...