Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: Belief Quotes

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

Always do whatever's next.

Always do whatever's next.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience...

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.