Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Quote by George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're...
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left...
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said...
Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that...
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain....
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Religion is just mind control.
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I...
Religion is just mind control
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
When someone is impatient and says, I haven't got all day, I always wonder, How...
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.