Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Quote by George Carlin

Topics: George Carlin Quotes

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it

Religion is just mind control

Religion is just mind control

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I...

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going...

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School...

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony...

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you...

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you...

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock.