The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

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A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.

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Humor is reason gone mad.

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Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

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Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

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I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want...

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Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let...

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I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never...

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Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

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What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

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If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style....

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